PUFF I do not have a green thumb, nor have I ever wanted to have one. My grandfather was a farmer, and my dad always had a giant garden in the backyard when I was growing up. They provided me with enough terrible tasks and duties in their gardens to make me never want to get dirt under my fingernails again. Until I met Joshua Mezher….

Mezher and his partner Jason Levin created apotforpot.com, where you can grow your own cannabis plant in the comforts of your own urban dwelling. Both worked in the industry and wanted to find something beyond just growing weed. Mezher told me they were in Home Depot, walking through the planting supplies and they thought, “Hey, wait a minute, no one has ever sold a grow-it-yourself marijuana plant kit before.”

Now running the company from their apartment in the Tenderloin, the two are setting out to teach us all how to grow our own weed. The slogan is “just add water,” and there are two kits available: the Windowsill two-gallon kit (Marked at $100, currently on sale for $59.99) and the Balcony five-gallon kit ($99.95). I  chose the Windowsill kit and was told to expect anywhere between two to three ounces harvested from my plant. 

Items included in the kit. Photo by Dan Karkoska.

I opened my box and discovered everything I would need to grow, including a fungal root pack, coco brick, and aeration mix. I have no idea what some of these things are (well, I recognized the fabric pot), so I am relying on the instructions that came in the box. I have read them several times and feel prepared for the task at hand. Joshua also assured me that he would be on hand for advice if need be.

So far, I have seeded the feminized pot seed by soaking it. (Actually, I am lying. Joshua gave me a seedling because he was out of seeds that day, but I am just creating the full experience for the sake of the story). I took the coco brick and soaked it in water. I mixed Perlite and diatomaceous earth with it. Then I took the provided felt growing bag and filled the bottom with Super Soil, then the coco-perlite mix, then the seed-plant.

Planting begins! Photo by Dan Karkoska

I had the luxury of doing this in my own back yard, but it can be easily done in your kitchen. Just put down newspaper because it is very messy. I recommend having a big five gallon bucket ready for mixing the Coco and Perlite mixture. I used a large pyrex bowl, and it was way too small.

How exciting! If I can pull this off and grow a nice marijuana plant, ANYONE can do it.

My father was supportive and a bit amused. I’m sure he remembered the younger me constantly avoiding any kind of garden duties like pulling weeds or picking vegetables. It was a torture chamber for me, withering under that incandescent Texas sun where rotten vegetables, icky worms, insects, and irritable snakes waited to pounce on me at every turn.

Say hello to Mary Lou. Photo by Dan Karkoska

Here I am, all those years later. I never garden or grow anything, except maybe in the back of my refrigerator in a leftovers bowl, but that is purely unintentional. I step back into the arena because the power of weed compels me. If there is one thing that would make me ever garden again, it is cannabis.

So, I named my plant Mary Lou (She is Mary Jane’s sister). I am hopeful and excited to watch her grow and flower. There will be updates to follow. Joshua, I have you on speed dial.

Dan Karkoska is an independent producer, promoter, film critic, and DJ on the San Francisco scene. He also works with Maria Konner at Under the Golden Gate and is currently producing and hosting PUFF, the first queer marijuana rock-and-roll drag party every first Thursday at The Stud. He is a big stoner. Photo by Sari Staver.