‘Tis the season to be sleazin’. Research shows that everyone with a sex drive revs up around the holidays, probably due to a combination of vacation time, winter blues, close quarters, and free-flowing booze. For lonely gays stuck at their childhood home for what feels like an eternity, however, or those weathering dark winter nights on their own, escape and release becomes an almost existential yearning for connection.
Sure there’s Grindr, Scruff, or whatever have you at digital hand, but nothing beats a good ol’ IRL foray into the driving rain or snow for some rambunctious holiday hunting, maybe at one of your former humpy outdoor haunts. (We’re still mad the city cut down the busy bushes of Alamo Square.) A warm bar or underground discotheque also works—and don’t forget you can cruise for conversation and mere flirtation, too!
Author and back-alley connoisseur Leo Herrera’s saucy hit handbook (Analog) Cruising aims to get randy reindeers “off the apps and into the streets” by introducing classic sex cruising etiquette to a new generation of queer adventurers. Filled with practical knowledge, witty insights, and personal stories, the handy tome “builds its own language, defining implied consent, caressing cues, and ‘the museum technique.'” So who better to give us the ins and outs of stocking-stuffing season?
We caught up with Herrera for a few quick seasonal cruising Q&As to help you get laid out like a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.
48 HILLS Safety and mutual pleasure first. What should the best hos always pack in their gift sack while sliding down a stranger’s chimney?
LEO HERRERA I never slide down anyone’s chimney without my cruising kit! It’s packed with lube, a lighter, mints, my PrEP and, of course, a little brown bottle, usually from a local shop like Folsom Gulch. You can check out my specially curated crusing kit here, which even comes with a hand strap-on bag for your wrist or ankle, for when those clothing optional moments strike.
48 HILLS Let’s dispense with the reindeer games—how can you bypass all the boring clauses of endless conversation and get directly to locking antlers at the holiday gaythering?
LEO HERRERA My favorite and most useful line for the hunt is “Where were you before you got here?” A pickup line should never be a yes or no question. The corny classic “Come here often?” is actually a terrible pickup line because if both parties are nervous and freeze up, there’s nowhere to go from there. My pickup line always has an answer and a response ready (you were both somewhere, after all) and before you know it, BOOM! You’re in a conversation and the hard part is over, or just begun.
48 HILLS Nevermind hanging ’round yon virgin. Where can we go to really sleigh on the holiday? Behind the Hanukkah bush?
LEO HERRERA If the weather is nice, I’ll be cruising the park, but on a cold night, I like to hit a bathhouse or a club, like Steamworks in Berkley, or Eros SF, or one of the city’s sexy parties like Dad, Sneaks, Truck, and Dirty Boots.
48 HILLS These ass-less jingle pants just aren’t cutting it anymore. What’s the look for sexy Father Christmases and kinky Elven Twinks
LEO HERRERA My look for cruising Santa’s workshop is stripped down and simple with a dash of leather. Jeans with a white tank or black dress shirt with Mr. S leather suspenders always does the trick—before the trick does me.
48 HILLS What if that cutie ho ho ho says no no no? Santa needs the gift of confidence.
LEO HERRERA As I preach in my cruising manual: Do not take rejection as a reflection on you! There are so many reasons someone may not be interested in connecting with you. If you’re in a cruising space, they may be taking their time, being a voyeur, or it may mean “not this minute” and they may connect later. We’ve gotten so used to just blocking or ghosting each other on the apps, it can be hard to take rejection in real life. But dealing with it face to face strengthens our emotional immune system. Besides, it’s a tough cookie to swallow, but a “no” always leaves room for someone else’s “yes.”
Purchase the delightful (Analog) Cruising by Leo Herrera here.
