“Do you have any idea what it’s like to me single again for a gay man at my age?” asks Neil Patrick Harris in Netflix’s new series “Uncoupled.” “I’m a dinosaur.”
Such is the central conflict of the story, which follows real estate agent Michael (Harris) as his partner blindsides him with a sudden break-up after a 17-year relationship. Michael embarks upon a quest to find his next chapter as single gay man in his mid-40s—though his mission is imbued with the slight scent of will-they-won’t-they with his ex-partner.
The series, created by Jeffrey Richman (“Frasier,” “Modern Family”) and Darren Star (“Sex and the City,” “90210”), explores the world of New York’s upper class, deconstructs the “gay best friend” archetype, features a memorable Marcia Gay Harden at the top of her game, and offers a fresh portrayal of onscreen gay relationships. The breakup’s grief lingers throughout “Uncoupled.” But at its heart, this is a story about love of self and happy endings (for several of its characters, at least.)
Losing one’s other half is devastating, especially after working tirelessly to throw them a 50th birthday party, as Michael does at the start of the series. One has to learn how to function on their own again, evolve. Michael has to learn to navigate the dating app scene—turns out, browsing profiles is drastically different than spitting game in a bar. Dating is more to-the-point these days: buttholes and dick pics, an algorithm and swipe at first sight.
However, Michael finds that the old-fashioned modes of courting haven’t died out just yet, and there is opportunity to meet new partners around every corner–if only he can just get over his looming sadness. Harris, in one of his finest performances, is able to portray depressed and hopeless as well as he can joyous and hopeful. The actor is typically sharp in his delivery and natural reactions.
But there’s more to the “Uncoupled” than just man-seeking-man. Michael forges new friendships as he seeks to expand his community. Enter Harden’s sassy, recently-single art collector Claire. At times, this character could fit in a Coen brothers movie. Shades of Maude Lebowski and Harden’s own breakout role as Verna Bernbaum in Miller’s Crossing especially shine through. Claire’s rich dialogue gives Michael a new perspective: single should be as funny and fulfilling as being in a relationship. The fact that one doesn’t have to be with someone else to be whole may be cliché—but that’s because it’s true.
Though this fact is hard to learn during any stage in life, the series tells us that it’s especially tough as a gay man in New York City. As Michael’s friend, the wise and wise-cracking Stanley (played by a laugh-out-loud funny Brooks Ashmanskas) says, “Trust me. You do not want to be gay and single in this town … At our age? You’re invisible.”
Stanley shatters the archaic “gay best friend” stereotype that sees supporting queer characters reduced to serving the needs of others—usually the straight main characters—at the expense of their own storylines. Ashmanskas comes up with an exterior of infectious enthusiasm and casual curiosity, and an inner layer of melancholy and ineffable sadness. He’s the Figaro of “Uncoupled”’s The Barber of Seville, the jack-of-all-trades, the factotum of emotional support with an emotional character arc.
Michael needs the back-up—he doesn’t necessarily know how to live single. Meals alone, open schedules, significant changes to daily routines, insecurity, rumination, self-loathing, relying on one’s self and platonic loved ones. He has to learn to appreciate and accept himself without the constant reassurance of a significant other.
All the same, there are a plethora of hilarious situations in “Uncoupled.” One particularly-comical sequence takes place when Michael clears out a hot tub with projectile vomit during “gay ski weekend,” falling on his face while stumbling back to his room. The laughs are balanced with moments of quiet reflection, profundity—and plenty of drama that doesn’t outweigh the lightheartedness. These dramatic beats are well-placed and don’t rob “Uncoupled” of its breeziness.
This is a series akin to a serene, sunny summer afternoon by the pool with a cool wind and a refreshing drink. Enjoyable, easy-going, endorphin-inducing.
If there’s one thing lacking in “Uncoupled,” it’s a cohesive central conflict. Narratively, Michael’s quest to either get Colin back, figure out if his ex-partner has moved on, or move on himself—and the fraught tension that this quandary places on his other relationships—is not quite enough to drive a story. The stakes aren’t high enough.
Accordingly, the show meanders from moment to moment. But it’s a pleasant, scenic-if-windy road that goes down easy. It’s all handled deftly at the helm by directors Andrew Fleming (The Craft) and John Cassavetes’ daughter Zoe Cassavetes (“Emily in Paris.”)
“Uncoupled”’s greatest strengths are its witty dialogue, archetypal subversions, and authentic on-screen portrayals of relationships and dating, but it wouldn’t work without the exceptional turns by Harris, Harden, and Ashmanskas. The series hasn’t yet been renewed for a second season at Netflix. But its fans would like to see a second season. Here’s to hoping, as “Uncoupled” is pure rom-com comfort food.
Stream “Uncoupled” on Netflix.
