Sports

Doormat Division: Our local teams could still be the worst ever

Three and 10? 3-10!??  With just three weeks to go in the run to the Moldy Carpet trophy, the worst our gridiron losers can offer is a possible 3-13 record. The...

The Doormat Division: It stinks in the Bay Area

Now that the Raiders and 49ers have throttled the league into submission, it is only fitting that Thursday Night Doormat will feature the most unwatchable football game that...

The Doormat Division: No upsets, just blowouts

BROWNS 23, BUCCANEERS 26 (OT) While you've been celebrating the Browns turnaround, someone over at Brownie headquarters has kept the vision. Yesterday the Blank Helmets kept the dream alive by...

The Doormat Division: Down go the Titanics …

Every once in a great while, a team steps forward...I think it's two or three steps, and then you swing your leg...right?...and puts themselves into the Doormat Division record...

The Doormat Division, Week 5

This season, every week a whole new set of NFL teams decide to be the worst team in the league. Everybody is trying out the new clothes, seeing how...

Doormat Division: 0-16! Browns wind the moldy carpet!

BROWNS 24, STEELERS 28 They did it, Doormat Denizens. Driving deep into the Shower Curtain (2nd string Steelers) territory with under two minutes to go, and the whole season on...

Doormat Division, Week 16: Garoppoloco and the wrong-way Whiners

DOORMAT DIVISION STANDINGS, WEEK 16 NFC                                   W-L          PF      ...

The Doormat Division: More perfecter than you

DOORMAT DIVISION STANDINGS, WEEK 15 NFC                                   W-L          PF      ...

The Doormat Division: Perfect Season Parade preserved!

SOME PERSPECTIVE  Director John Waters once said:  "When I say action, you pick up that poodle poop and eat it." Wait, that's not the right quote...here:  "I used to play...

Doormat Division, lucky week 13

LET THE PARTIES BEGUINE!! We've got the home organ my uncle left me warming up in the corner of the Rumpus Room here in the Basement (just look at those...