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Sunday, December 15, 2024

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Erik Walker

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Arts + Culture

The (final) Doormat Division: Moldy Carpet Award goes to …

Week 17.  When teams have just given up, are fighting for the Doormat lives, are booking tee times in Florida, and, most importantly, are...
Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: One more awful week to go

  BROWNS 26, BUNGLES 18 It was a hard-working day in the Dawg Pound yesterday at that place of 7-7-1, on Lou Groza Blvd, a place...
Culture

Doormat Division: A huge upset …

MASSIVE UPSET: 49ERS 26, SEAHAGS 23 (OT) A monkey got off everybody's back in Santa Clara yesterday. The 49ers, against all expectations, finally beat the...
Culture

Doormat Division: Our local teams could still be the worst ever

Three and 10? 3-10!??  With just three weeks to go in the run to the Moldy Carpet trophy, the worst our gridiron losers can offer is...
Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: It stinks in the Bay Area

Now that the Raiders and 49ers have throttled the league into submission, it is only fitting that Thursday Night Doormat will feature the...
Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: No upsets, just blowouts

BROWNS 23, BUCCANEERS 26 (OT) While you've been celebrating the Browns turnaround, someone over at Brownie headquarters has kept the vision. Yesterday the Blank Helmets...
Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: Down go the Titanics …

Every once in a great while, a team steps forward...I think it's two or three steps, and then you swing your leg...right?...and puts themselves...
Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division, Week 5

This season, every week a whole new set of NFL teams decide to be the worst team in the league. Everybody is trying out...
Arts + Culture

Doormat Division, Week 4

Editors note: Our correspondent Erik Walker does the only thing appropriate to the NFL these days: Makes fun of a league in shambles. RAIDERS 45, ...

Doormat Division: 0-16! Browns wind the moldy carpet!

BROWNS 24, STEELERS 28 They did it, Doormat Denizens. Driving deep into the Shower Curtain (2nd string Steelers) territory with under two minutes to go,...
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