Doormat Division Archives

Arts + Culture

The (final) Doormat Division: Moldy Carpet Award goes to …

Erik Walker - December 29, 2018

Week 17. When teams have just given up, are fighting for the Doormat lives, are booking tee times in Florida, and, most importantly, are...

Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: One more awful week to go

Erik Walker - December 26, 2018

BROWNS 26, BUNGLES 18 It was a hard-working day in the Dawg Pound yesterday at that place of 7-7-1, on Lou Groza Blvd, a place...

Culture

Doormat Division: A huge upset …

Erik Walker - December 17, 2018

MASSIVE UPSET: 49ERS 26, SEAHAGS 23 (OT) A monkey got off everybody's back in Santa Clara yesterday. The 49ers, against all expectations, finally beat the...

Culture

Doormat Division: Our local teams could still be the worst ever

Erik Walker - December 11, 2018

Three and 10? 3-10!?? With just three weeks to go in the run to the Moldy Carpet trophy, the worst our gridiron losers can offer is...

Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: It stinks in the Bay Area

Erik Walker - October 28, 2018

Now that the Raiders and 49ers have throttled the league into submission, it is only fitting that Thursday Night Doormat will feature the...

Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: No upsets, just blowouts

Erik Walker - October 22, 2018

BROWNS 23, BUCCANEERS 26 (OT) While you've been celebrating the Browns turnaround, someone over at Brownie headquarters has kept the vision. Yesterday the Blank Helmets...

Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division: Down go the Titanics …

Erik Walker - October 15, 2018

Every once in a great while, a team steps forward...I think it's two or three steps, and then you swing your leg...right?...and puts themselves...

Arts + Culture

The Doormat Division, Week 5

Erik Walker - October 9, 2018

This season, every week a whole new set of NFL teams decide to be the worst team in the league. Everybody is trying out...

Arts + Culture

Doormat Division, Week 4

Erik Walker - October 3, 2018

Editors note: Our correspondent Erik Walker does the only thing appropriate to the NFL these days: Makes fun of a league in shambles. RAIDERS 45, ...

Doormat Division: 0-16! Browns wind the moldy carpet!

Erik Walker - January 1, 2018

BROWNS 24, STEELERS 28 They did it, Doormat Denizens. Driving deep into the Shower Curtain (2nd string Steelers) territory with under two minutes to go,...

Tagged with: Doormat Division

The (final) Doormat Division: Moldy Carpet Award goes to …

The Doormat Division: One more awful week to go

Doormat Division: A huge upset …

Doormat Division: Our local teams could still be the worst ever

The Doormat Division: It stinks in the Bay Area

The Doormat Division: No upsets, just blowouts

The Doormat Division: Down go the Titanics …

The Doormat Division, Week 5

Doormat Division, Week 4

Doormat Division: 0-16! Browns wind the moldy carpet!

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