The moment you tell yourself, “Maybe I should put this down,” is probably two tokes too late on that infused preroll. Quickly put it back in its original container or a spare Doob Tube and start the music, movie, walk, bath or whatever activity you have planned before you get massively stoned.
What with a pandemic and all going on, the sales of joints are down from the lack of gatherings. But infused preroll sales are up, up, up. Why? My little, grey cells deduced all you stoners out there are buying your regular stash and then throwing in a fancy infused preroll for that little zing in your life. It’s like buying a few bottles of Two Buck Chuck and throwing in a $20 bottle to open first, while your taste buds are fresh.
So as usual, I must take another stoney hit for the team and sample some random prerolls filled with concentrated goodness. I focused on new brands to me and ingredients that came from actual strains and not your basic trilogy (sativa, indica, hybrid).
To start off, you must be prepared for some of these babies to burn badly. Even the best brand has misfires. So have at hand some scissors, tweezers, an ashtray and a bong or pipe in case any misfires happen.
Lightly roll the joint between your fingers to loosen the concentrate. There is hash, resin, shatter or some other form of cannabis oil wrapped in the joint. Due to travel and storage, that concentrate can move and settle anywhere. So lightly rolling it may loosen it up a bit. Don’t squeeze especially if your J is rolled in kief or other goodness.
I also roll the crutch a bit to make sure it is not too tight and will inhibit inhaling.
Now light that sucker.
Always hold your infused joint upward while it is lit. That way the concentrate will drip down into the preroll as it melts ensuring that it will smoke evenly. If the concentrate is off-center it could cause the Canoe Effect, where one side burns much faster than the other creating a “canoe” shape of unsmoked weed and molten concentrate.
You can use spit or water along the edges of the quickly burning saide to try and slow the burn, but sometimes it is best to grab your scissors and snip that part off and tweezer it into a nearby smoking device for quick usage.
If you have not had this brand before, smoke like six or seven nice hits and put it back in a tube to douse it. Now see how it hits you 15 minutes later. A little can go a long way!
Never snuff out the joint into a plate or ashtray. It damages all the structure that can still be smoked. Drop the lit joint down a tube, butt end first and close the lid. That’s it.
Beware the lure of these powerful joints if you are not experienced. They can lead to a zombie-like trance that only has snacks and a blankie in mind. It can make you seriously stupid for a good amount of time depending on how much you smoke.
The other day I went and ordered a deli sandwich from my favorite neighborhood place Brother’s Deli, I had been smoking a Jeeters beforehand. My buddy called out my name numerous times to pick up the sandwich, and he finally found me staring intensely at all potato chip flavors in the snack aisle. I was so into contemplating all the flavors and how they would taste, I never heard him. Now, I call that majorly stoned… and also devoted to my full deli-sandwich flavor and texture experience.
My favorite new preroll brand is Jeeters, mentioned above. I like the nice bright colors of the label and the fact the containers have screw-top lids for easy snuffing. I sampled the 1 gram joints but there are several sizes. They are infused with cannabis oil and kief and look fantastically smokable. All three I tried smoked evenly and tasted great. My flavors were Tropicana Cookies (sativa), Strawberry Shortcake (indica) and Blueberry Kush (indica).
Next up is Project Fusion from Chemistry with flower by Radical Herbs. Again, I am a sucker for nice design as well as a sky high lift. I tried the Strawnana Frosting (indica) and Forbidden Watermelon (hybrid) with Super Lemon Haze (sativa) on my list. They smoked evenly with a good flavor.
I also really enjoyed King Roll’s Lemon Haze with Jack Herer cannabis oil (sativa). Now this one had all the resin at the very top. I coughed hard with my eyes tearing up. STRONG! I had to douse it out quickly, but my high was fantastic once the smoke cleared.
Smoking concentrate can be an intense experience, so it’s best done someplace you feel comfortable.
Finally, as I shopped a sale, I decided to try one of those big ass hand-rolled blunts that I always see but never want to spend the money on. I smoked a 3.3 gram, sequoia size, CaliGreenGold blunt of Cherry Cookies (hybrid) infused with kief, cannabis oil and crumble. It is regularly priced at $55.
This one is probably best to open at a party to share with friends. It smoked well and tasted just fine. I made the mistake of smoking a good part of it during a phone chat. We just gabbed and I puffed away until all of a sudden I was a complete idiot and forming sentences was way too complex. End of phone call. It was a very nice high though. I didn’t get too paranoid. I will probably stick to only buying one for a special occasion which could also mean next Sunday afternoon when I am bored.
Always remember to hydrate while smoking cannabis, especially this infused stuff.
I purchased all these joints at area dispensaries for mostly around $20 each unless noted. Look for sales!!
It was a fun research project, and I love to be stoned, but it is nice to be back in the land of the quicker-witted, because too much infused goodness can create a stoney fog that is difficult to shake. Use only when you have a long time to hang, like watching the Zach Snyder four-hour cut of Justice League, playing video games, bingeing a new show, or going for a long walk outside.
Happy Spring!
Be well. Be safe. Be high. Be happy.
