PUFF As the year end holidays approach, many make plans to see those near and dear to our hearts all across this fair land. Of course, not all places are cool with cannabis. And knowing full well that you will be seeing all your family and hearing everyone’s point of view, you may require a little cannabis pick-me-up to keeping your sanity—and enjoy all those amazing desserts just that much more.

How to travel with it? Will they shake me down at the airport? These questions have plagued stoners for years. First of all, always check your bag containing your stash. I found out that San Francisco International Airport will not call you out on traveling with pot. If they find it, they are supposed to turn it over to the SFPD Airport Bureau, who will do nothing about it because it is such a low level offense, if you aren’t taking too much product with you. (Keep it to less than an ounce).

Of course, if your destination is cannabis-friendly, you have nothing to worry about anyway. I travel to Texas, so no such luck yet.

However, emboldened by information about SFO’s laxity, I packed my bag with several joints and some flower wrapped in a turkey bag, just for safety.

A turkey bag you say?

Yes, buy an oven bag that is made to cook turkeys inside of it. The material it’s made from is one of the few materials which will not let the strong scent of the cannabis escape.

I made it through unscathed. All my stash was there, and I happily shared California weed with all my stoner friends in Dallas. Years past have been hit or miss, though.

There was the time I had the bright idea to wrap up my joints and shove them down in my taint (look it up) for air travel. When I landed, our first stop was at a BBQ place. I excused myself from the table and headed into the bathroom planning on returning to the table with joints galore.

Well they weren’t there…anywhere.

I searched my body completely. Nothing. So I headed back toward the table with my head down scanning the floor for a small wrapper full of joints. My friends asked me what I was doing. After they stopped laughing at me, they joined in the search to the great consternation of the locals eating their brisket and potato salad.

Alas it was never found. I hope my taint-ed bag of herb found a good home for the holidays and got someone high.

I always put my stash in my shaving/toiletries (or make-up) bag. Preferably in a side, zip pocket. In my mind, when the authorities are x-raying my bags, the stash will blend in with the odd assortment of pills, brushes, tubes and stuff I travel with. It has always worked for me.

Then again, if you are worried about taking it, the best thing is to travel with a vape pen and edibles that can be easily disguised like mints or gummies. Just put them in another kind of container like for candy or mints. With vapes, just take the cartridges out of their packaging and they are difficult to tell from the e-cigarettes.

Many years ago, a good friend told me that I shouldn’t worry so much about it. “They scan hundreds of bags every hour. They are looking for guns and bombs and things that can harm the passengers on a plane. I doubt that the three joints in your bag will cause much of a fuss. You are not that important.”

It snapped me out of my my paranoia, and I have been traveling with a stash ever since. Just don’t go for the taint.

I hope everyone has safe travels and happy highs for the holidaze. Now it’s time to light up.