I am sitting here drinking wine and reflecting on the day that was yesterday. I woke up at 6am. My day started with the thought that it is Malcolm X birthday, what does that mean to me? I wasn’t sure.
I checked my email and the first email was from an older white activist who was admonishing me for not organizing around firing chief Suhr the way he thought I should.
Then he told me I didn’t understand the importance of the Black Lives Matter movement and I wasn’t having it. I replied with a “stop appropriating my struggle ” email.
He tried to make me out to be a racist and I called him self-entitled, delusional and told him he had no right to tell me how to feel about my oppression and to stay in his lane.
I thought today was going to be like all the other days: I think about what I need to do to get rid of the chief, I get frustrated that others don’t get the sense of urgency, I lecture a white person on appropriating my struggle and marginalizing my voice, I go to yoga.
I went to yoga and every posture was burdened by potassium-deficient calf cramps.
I got home and jumped in the shower. The minute I began the shower, my phone started blowing up. I toweled off and checked my text messages and voice mails; SFPD had killed someone in Bayview.
I immediately felt rage. I began frantically texting and messaging my network. We had to do something.
I worried about so many things.
Was the victim a person of color? Will the chief explain it away? Will any one be held accountable?
I had heard time and time again that the mayor stood behind the chief. I had heard the chief had no intention of stepping down. I had seen SFPD get away with murder so many times before.
The press began calling and texting one after another asking where the Frisco5 stood.
I had no idea.
I was preparing myself for the next battle in a hundred-year war. But I didn’t have enough ammo. I knew it was a woman who was dead. We always scream about men of color being killed by police. The women are forgotten. The women hit me in a different way. It could have been me. I learned she was only 27. I started to cry. I didn’t know her name, but I cried for her.
I cried because I knew the chief was going to get in front of the press and once again make it the victim’s fault. I cried because the thing valued less than a black man in America is a black woman. I was preparing myself for the rage
The rage of the mayor standing behind a chief that had allowed another murder under his watch.
The rage of a chief who refused to step down.
The rage of another family shattered by police violence.
The rage of witnessing activist egos that were going to claim this family’s pain for their own advancement
My only thought was “let’s shut this shit down.”
So as I coordinated with the network to plan action, I got a message saying the mayor was now talking about having no confidence in chief Suhr.
My press contacts at city hall began telling me of a meeting between the chief and the mayor. Could it be? They were hearing whispers.
At 4:38 pm, the mayor announced that he had asked for the chief’s immediate resignation and the chief complied.
As the news spread, my network began celebrating but I could not.
I felt empty and dark. I thought, this doesn’t make a difference. It’s going to happen again because there is no reform and the officers that killed people are still employed by SFPD.
Also, some one died today. A mother of six. A 27-year-old year old mother of six. I cannot celebrate.
Once again I was juggling press calls. I had to hold back tears. Not tears of joy but tears of: it doesn’t matter. Someone died. Some one’s mother, daughter, maybe even sister. I could not celebrate.
This was not a victory. This was a battle won in a war that isn’t over.
We still have a mayor that has sold SF and traumatized the homeless. We don’t have any real police reform. Those officers are still working and haven’t faced any charges.
So I’m not going to celebrate. I need to prepare for battle.
Well shall replacement, appease the guilty whom continue. Increase “annoyance” of police certain neighborhoods…misunderstand yes concur SFPD. Corrupt and bias they harassed “LGBTQ” society around Mission,Diamond Heights and Castro always. Harm to those, not affluent investigation suddenly gotten lost no toss bigotry is rampant. Shall interim chief, bring release no longer social grief which apparent on streets of “San Francisco” usually problem. Seeing Gay males, around Castro assumption prostitution or under the influence, Scott Wiener oppose the resignation I’ll remember you. Election “2020” since running for what, mayoral office yeah, Mr.MicroHouse anyhow. Conflict saying Chaplin going be aloof upon, violence around San Francisco why hostility when speak of disparity. Ellis act and gentrification “Bay View” experience displacement but gangs and criminals haven’t bought. Prosperity to neighborhood, the victim killed stole a car when ask to surrender refuse. Yes, excessive force needs to stop, I observe bigotry from established…profiling repugnant attitude of superiority. Due, income neighborhoods status,mention the Castro gone straight not to late repeal. Ellis Act on the ballot argument why, Ed Lee,didn’t change organization of SFPD reason used as political tool. Racist comments from officers, this prevalent now. Going to what, repeal no reveal the decadence problem socialism SFPD supported by NAPO targeting those. Not consider economically dominate this against city policies you pay taxes why racist attitudes! San Francisco sold liberal city greatest find success is this test Ed Lee in mess. Guess using Chaplin as Ferguson MO, new chief for colorlines! Fellow advocates restrain from using, color externals many are criminals haven’t contributed to society! Furthermore Bayview consider game SFPD haven’t restrain upon social respect to lobby Ed Lee address. Bayview now it’s conflict of political interest okay approve “Candle Stick Park and Post Office building development 3rd Evans, what about fair housing to exert power never concede! Let’s address crime around San Francisco,innocent victims “Paul Tam” killed by criminals excuse me gang members didn’t say heritage! Where reaction from “Fillmore” since enduring gentrification and racist impartially we need unity not only exclusiveness! Bryan Lynn Higgins aspiring “artist” murdered where investigation upon finding killer taken Bryan life 2014 former chief Surh. Elated decision given for your removal! Unite together to improve balance, of life not strife of San Francisco!
A 27-year-old mother of six in a stolen car? I think she committed suicide.
Yayne, I agree that celebration in these circumstances doesn’t feel right. But holy crap, people who care moved what appeared to be a mountain. Channeling the need to acknowledge this accomplishment into validation, a template for future activist efforts and, most importantly, into strength to battle to overcome these despicable killings is important.
You all did it. Remember that when someone else gets in your way.
Here is why you should celebrate (at least a little 🙂 ) . The journey is going to be long, and the struggle continues. Taking time to celebrate victories no matter how small (and this don’t seem that small), is a chance to acknowledge success, and keep motivations for all involved in a positive light. Its not the end by any means the celebration doesn’t mean the journey is over, its validating that progress is being made before putting your heads down for the next round. Peace!!