The impending closure of Boogaloos is the (locally sourced, hand-wrought) nail in the neon coffin of a once inescapable lifestyle caricature.

48 Hills: Hipster Apocalypse
“Bye Felicias.”
From X24’s “Hipster Apocalypse” video

By Marke B.

SEPTEMBER 1, 2015 — If you’re still blaming the tumultuous cultural changes San Francisco has been undergoing on “hipsters,” you might need to stop and readjust your neon shutter shades. Like the marginalized communities it was blamed for displacing, the once-overwhelming hipster onslaught has now in turn been over-run by Ivy League business school marketing grads, violently jogging ex-cheerleaders from the Midwest, Bonobos-sporting former frat bros, and Baby Bjorned global arrivistes who have absolutely no idea who Allen Ginsberg or Ariel Pink is, let alone Keyboard Cat.

Goodbye hand-knit beer cozies, tacky Christmas sweaters worn in July, and Three Wolf Moon tees; hello Under Armour gym socks, nude hose, and Lululemon sports bras.

This weekend’s announced closing of Mission hipster landmark brunch spot Boogaloos, due to “whacked out” rent, may be the final (locally-smelted, hand-wrought) nail in the (reclaimed old-growth redwood with vintage silk lining) coffin of a hipster cultural stratum previously defined by indie irony, fitted flannels, large-print t-shirts, small-scale free-range production techniques, twirly mustaches, PBR ‘n burrito burps, Frankensteined fixes, post-punk hip-hop retro-disco garage rock blog house, Web 1.0 MS Paint design aesthetics, and Hipster Runoff.

Not even a robust gap-year trust fund can withstand the skyrocketing rents here. And who can afford anymore to launch a Malian-Icelandic fusion food truck, organic Ayahuasca pop-up, or hand-printed line of Zombie Hannah Montana jeggings? Only bored Google wives have resources for that now, and they’re too busy with toddler yoga. I seriously waited on Valencia Street for three hours last week before I spotted a single acid-wash romper. There were pleated chinos at Zeitgeist. Elbo Room is closing. Hipster’s dead, y’all.

Yes, defining what a “hipster” is in the first place is a slippery, well-documented hazard, but the particular collection of consumer tics and lifestyle branding that gelled around 2002 to define the San Francisco hipster, aka “Mission hipster,” has been disappearing off our streets for the past six years or so. You can practically date the “Have You Seen Me?” milk carton to the release of Animal Collective’s 2009 album Merriweather Post Pavillion (which weirdly crossed over from indie phenom to sorority singalong). The days of being able to be willfully obscure, outrageous, awkward, artistic, pretentious, and poor are long behind us. I never thought I’d miss greasy asymmetrical bowl-cuts and fake American Apparel oversized glasses as much as this, but I kind of do.

48 Hills
Hipster classic: The era-defining back cover of Indiefest 2003, by Hugh D’Andrade

At least hipsters tried to be cool and attempted to care. There was a tenuous connection to the alternative, anti-corporate spirit of the ’90s, the angular styles of the ’80s, the free-spirited experimentalism of the ’60s (and drug overload of the ’70s), the fussy transcendence of the Beats. Now we’re simply succumbing to a blinding shade of bland, reflected in the latest trend of painting all our formerly calico Victorians dove grey and toxic taupe.

Sure, there are moments when it all comes flooding back — Outside Lands, say, when the streets run wild with mismatched patterns and festival-only hairdos. But if you spend 10 minutes talking on the street with some of the attendees, things start to get strange. They’re in sales, and want to turn you on to a new time-share app they’re prepping for second-round funding. They call you “bro” and talk about how hot all the chicks in matching floral crowns are this year. Or they pour out their heart to you about how lonely it is being the only female in their development pod, but they’re off to Mykonos next week for some fun on the beach, so things are good, and by the way, did you know a lot of gay guys go to Mykonos? IT’S SO FUN AND GAY THERE!

48 Hills: Bonobos
Welcome our hearty new non-vegan yuppie overlords, straight from the Bonobos catalogue.

It is so weird.

The 2000s San Francisco hipster was born of the first Web bust, when everyone who got pink slips suddenly had a shitload of money to blow on conciliatory cocaine parties and then invest in outlandish artisanal Etsy dreams. For a moment, rent was low enough again to move here with no plan, if you didn’t mind three roommates plus multiple cats and a diet of Arinell’s. Now, after providing San Francisco with a big, fat target of derision for many years, actual hipsters are being forced out, too — or condemned to work double shifts at Four Barrel so they can afford to go see shows at the Chapel.

Look, obviously I’m exaggerating somewhat — not everyone’s dead or in Oakland. I meet kooky and kinky newcomers all the time with their heads in the clouds and their hearts on their sleeves, even if they did move here for a Facebook UX DevOps job rather than the desire to front an electro-bluegrass/Gregorian rap band. I still see dudes who look like Amish farmers sipping fair trade soy lattes and bottling their own bitters, and gals with sincere Urkel tattoos launching cancer-dog rescues on Kickstarter and selling home-pickled green tomatoes. There are crazy drag queens everywhere.

Let’s give them “two snaps up” and a celebratory shruggie emoticon for hanging in there and doing something colorful offline. But let’s not pretend there’s a free Fugazi concert in Dolores Park in their future, or even an Arcade Fire one.

 

  • vratrm

    Very witty and insightful. It’s interesting to note this article from the Bold Italic (RIP) was wretten just 4 years ago:

    http://www.thebolditalic.com/articles/950-living-in-sf-means

    by SF hipster avatar Broke Ass Stuart before he found his real calling of shining the bright light of truth on techie privilege and it’s most visable manifestation: an inability to engage in human interaction with having one’s mobile device placed somewhat below eye level and conveniently oriented in case of a sudden attack of boredom or inadvertent eye contact and their nouveau riche, elitist penchant for bunking up dormitory style in coding communes.

    • Michael

      the Bold Italic is back bruh!

    • Deleted

      I think I’ll write an app that allows people like vratrm faster access to a whambulance.

  • mike

    brilliant. frigging brilliant.

  • Pvt. Hudson

    I hate Mashable, but enjoyed this one:

    http://mashable.com/2015/06/09/post-hipster-yuccie/

  • wcw

    Fine work, though for less adulterated hipster nostalgia maybe try http://missionlocal.org/2015/08/lost-sf-history-a-bike-messenger-retrospective/

  • GarySFBCN

    Love it!

    • Ssstella

      I love it too. We don’t often get to see such a clear case study in progressive intolerance, but this post is perfect. It’s all here: All the condescending stereotypes and arrogant smears against people who have the temerity to… work, exercise, have kids, and move to San Francisco. Wasn’t all that long ago that 24th Street activists were using hipster as dog-whistle for “white people.” Now the hipsters are rehabilitated as fellow class warriors.

      No wonder so many San Franciscans dislike progressives. Maybe it’s because progressives don’t try very hard to hide how much they dislike everyone else.

      • Joshua Emerson Smith

        Haha. Sooooo off the mark.

      • GarySFBCN

        Obviously, you have forgotten to take your meds today. Or you are Sam. Or both.

        Signed, BigBadProgressive.

      • AndreuAitch

        “so many San Franciscans dislike progressives”

        lol

      • KOinSF

        That was funny, thanks for the giggle.

      • marco01

        Please, give us a break. Conservatives despise anyone who doesn’t live their white bread lifestyle.

        San Francisco was a place that had a vibrant culture, now it’s turning into another white bread monoculture. You should move there, you’d love it now, if you can afford it.

      • Brian Way

        Ssstella, did you type this out on your phone on the Google bus?

  • Matt Thayer

    Fugazi / Sleater Kinney Food Not Bombs show

    • Brian Way

      I was there! I left SF 16 years ago for greener (less beige and taupe) pastures.

  • Ace Osuna

    Hipsters are still here, we just make $200k a year now.

    • Berkyjay

      Not Hipsters anymore. You’re Yuppies now.

      • Meat Bikini

        Zippies Redux

  • dat

    So true it causes actual physical pain.

  • cocoman

    Cringe worthy description of hipsters. Sincerely….ugh

    • Meat Bikini

      ugh.. serial brah

  • M. Montrouge

    Mission Hipsters were arguably responsible for the gentrification of the Mission before techies were, they made it all possible. It’s interesting how short memories are, but you have to love the irony of hipsters now being the ones who are being displaced. It’s good to have a scapegoat, I guess.

    • PatientPatient

      Arguably, perhaps, but—even at their worst—the hipsters weren’t going to buy your rent-controlled building, then evict you in order to turn it into luxury apartments for “San Francisco’s elite™”.

      • Wagnerian_thrice

        Nor were they displacing anyone.

        • M. Montrouge

          Except that’s not what people were saying before techies became the in thing to hate on again. http://missionlocal.org/2010/07/concerned-citizen-wants-city-to-fix-hipster-gentrification/

          Not one mention of tech, only hipsters.

          Who gets blamed for gentrification and displacement in NY? Yep, hipsters. Basically the same argument about techies here is use there. http://gothamist.com/2014/02/26/spike_lee_goes_off_about_the_mother.php

          Also I’m using Hipsters broadly here, but essentially you could substitute 20 to 30 something year old white folk. If you fall in that demographic and live in the Mission, you’re a gentrifier. Doesn’t mean that’s anybody’s fault, but the point is that ultimately, unless you build a wall around the Mission, then you can never really stop gentrification.

          Efforts like the moratorium are reactionary solutions that attempt to stem the tide of broader socioeconomc forces.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            You’re pointing to one blog article from 2010.

            I’m thinking back to the early aughts after the 2000 census was done, and it said that latinos were still in The Mission at the same numbers as before the dot-com. Back then we blamed tech for gentrification, but also housing policy. A big driver of gentrification back then was the exploitation of the housing code that meant to allow artists and craftspeople to have live/work spaces. The developers took advantage of this and started plowing things down so they could build expensive ‘luxury’ live/work lofts to sell/rent to tech yuppies, etc…

            The hipster thing was always ON-Fire in SF in various incarnations, back then the hipsters were mods, and then around 2004-ish it changed. I lived in an SRO across from Albion at the time. I remember looking out my window and thinking how the mods had all become hipsters, and they were boring as fuck. Cocaine-boring. We’d complain about them, but we did not blame the dot-com on them, unless they were dot-commers.

            “You can never really stop gentrification” is utter bullshit. All of this has happened because developers and politicos such as Willie Brown, and his succession of hand-picked Mayors sold San Francisco THA-FUCK out. It didn’t just happen. Lots of favors were granted, back room deals were done. All of this shit could have been prevented by regulation, and good housing policy. Instead, all development is a giant cash crab with kick-backs to people at City Hall. Corruption is everywhere.

            The moratorium is our best chance to bring parties to the table and force a solution. It’s not reactionary at all. It’s an late response to an extreme situation that has been going on for a long time.

          • Mac

            Seems like we can all agree on one thing though. Its the landlords and real estate developers that saw opportunity to drive up rent, which displaced one group in order to entice another. Affordable living and lifestyles needs to start with the people providing the living or working space. They raise rent to meet some kind of market value and put people in further stressful situations as they try to make a life.

          • Deleted

            No, we don’t all agree on that. Developers are just reacting rationally to market incentives and should be the best friend of SF natives as the only ones with the power and incentives to save the middle class.

            Your perspective is exactly how SF got to be this way. Want lower rents and to stop forcing people out of the city? Empower and support developers. Or fuck it, double down on that attitude, I can handle 4k a month.

          • PatientPatient

            Development doesn’t do much if all of the new properties are “luxury” apartments rented at “market rate” or bought at 30-50% over asking by foreign investors—who often let the properties sit vacant.

            Heavily taxing such foreign investments & strictly enforcing the laws that keep unscrupulous landlords from evicting tenants to turn their buildings into illegal, uninsured hotels would do much to help reduce the squeeze.

            But no matter what anyone does, the SF real estate Tulipmania will end when this latest tech bubble pops or perhaps before as the cost of doing business in SF becomes prohibitive. In fact, it’s already happening as many smaller & several larger, more well-established companies are pulling out & relocating to communities where their CEO’s & their employees’ money goes further.

          • Deleted

            Actually, ‘luxury’ units at market rates are the only thing we could build that matters. You should be begging for those luxury market rate units. You listed literally the best possible situation, and called it a problem, which explains a lot about SF home prices!

            All the rest of that is more nonsense about how you are better able to determine the market than the market, and incentives for you to want more regulation, all of which is the cause of this problem.

            This isn’t tulipmania. A bubble in tech is something that slows down its rate of growth for a couple years, but tech is like the automobile or the plane in 1925. As an industry, it is just getting off it’s feet.

          • M. Montrouge

            Blaming gentrification in the Mission on Willie Brown is quite generous. Did supply create demand, or did demand encourage supply?

            A combination of low rent, great food, good weather and access to transit made the Mission attractive, Willie Brown didn’t create that.

            The problem with the moratorium is it is fundamentally flawed. There are only 2 ways to keep rents low, and it involves supply or demand. Since the moratorium has a negative effect on supply, it leaves reducing demand as the choice. However, nobody is for any of the things that would actually lower demand (higher crime, lack of parks, lack of transit, etc). The end result is a schizophrenic policy that fails, if not exacerbates the problem it intends to fix.

            If people really wanted to do something about gentrification, they’d build highrise public housing right off of Dolores Park with the least optimal shadowing mitigation possible. Hell, by doing that, you’d actually increase supply and simultaneously lower demand. Anyone opposing such a plan would be placing lesser concerns ahead of the needs of the poor.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            “There are only 2 ways to keep rents low, and it involves supply or demand”

            Oh, just stop.

          • Deleted

            He’s obviously right.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            Nah.

          • M. Montrouge

            Very well then, don’t build and don’t reduce demand. This doesn’t hurt me at all.

            You all need to get outside San Francisco’s bubble now and then. What I just said in regards to supply and demand is mainstream economics. Liberal economists like Paul Krugman whom my views more or less align with would be aghast if he heard about the moratorium.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            Is ther a more abused concept than ‘supply and demand’? It’s definitely up there.

          • M. Montrouge

            Well then, tell me what part of what I said is incorrect? Stopping the supply of market rate housing implies that market rate housing creates the demand for people to move to the Mission, but that’s simply not the case. The moratorium stops supply with the intention of stemming demand, but ultimately people don’t move to the Mission because of the availability of luxury condors. Ultimately you just end up with a heightened version of the current problem: people want to live in the Mission, they have more money then current residents, landlords see this and attempt to take advantage of that situation, some landlords will utilize unscrupulous, if not illegal methods to achieve this.

          • Mitchell

            Hey, ostrich — that’s not the ground your head’s buried in, but either way, neither human desires nor material realities will simply go away.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            Supply and demand isn’t the only factor that is driving this reality. Those that keep insisting that it is are being primarily ideological. It is tired, it is old, I can’t take it seriously.

          • Mitchell

            I don’t adhere to any sort of “free-market” ideology, but it seems pretty obvious that lots of people want to live in the Bay Area. When a neighborhood becomes more desirable to more people, it becomes expensive. Neighborhoods change and communities evolve; “We were here first” doesn’t cut it, regardless of whose ox is gored (or whose dog is hit).

            Either welcome the newcomers (and the wealth they bring), and make the best of it — or move to Richmond or Vallejo (preferably near a donut shop, if that’s your criterion for “community”).

            Meanwhile, “rich white people” (and their way of life) are blamed for moving out, and blamed for moving in. It is tired, it is old. I can’t take it seriously.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            Well if you can’t take it you should move, since that’s the solution to those of of us who rightly protest this extreme situation.

            I can honestly say that in my 20 years in the Bay Area, the wealth that the tech industry has brought to SF has never bennifitted me or most of friends, They make sure that it only benefits them. There is no trickle down. The fucking Opera can’t even find ways to get support from the tech neuvo-riche.

            Lots of people have always wanted to live here. The difference is that these new people have outlandish incomes. Regualar working people have been completely fucked over by this new free market.

            “move to Richmond or Vallejo (preferably near a donut shop or a corner liquor store…)” <—Take your classist bullshit and shove it up your ass.

          • Yes, you’re using the word broadly, but that’s pretty much what it’s for: a vaguely-defined pejorative to make fun of younger people who dress differently than you did at their age.

      • tiqui

        EXACTLY!

    • westcoastcitizen

      Are you arguing that “Mission Hipsters” were the first-wave neighborhood gentrifiers? Maybe some people wish that were the case, but the historical record shows the issue goes back decades.

      • sffoghorn

        Yet previous generations were cultural migrants rather than economic prospectors and didn’t move here and then try to immediately remake the entire city for their convenience.

        • M. Montrouge

          Beatniks and hippies didn’t change the culture of the neighborhoods they settled in? I imagine locals of those districts at that time must of disagreed.

          Why did folks come to San Francisco in 1849 if not for literal economic prospecting?

          • sffoghorn

            Beatniks and hippies did not take over the government and remake the built environment of the City in their image. They did not come here only for the money. Queers and other cultural refugees of the late 20th century likewise did not demand that the City rebuild itself for their convenience.

          • M. Montrouge

            To argue that liberal sub-cultures didn’t have an effect on government is simply incorrect. San Francisco’s status quo is to the left of nearly every other major American city for a reason.

            Harvey Milk was not able to secure his seat on the Board of Supervisors before San Francisco switched to district elections. There are still people who would like to go back to at-large elections.

            Also, did beatniks simply come to San Francisco because of culture first, or was it because working class neighborhoods like North Beach was affordable, and then it became a cultural destination?

            Perspective is everything. Ask a native San Franciscan who lived in San Francisco in the 40s if they think outsiders changed San Francisco.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            People brought changes, but they didn’t force other people out.

          • Mitchell

            If you were Dan White, you felt in danger of “displacement.” Look where that led.

          • sffoghorn

            If you were Dan White, you felt in danger of other people who were not like you living near you, living their lives as we now all agree should be a basic human right. Human excrement like Dan White is no basis for casting public policy. To the contrary, Dan White is the poster child for eliminating the SFPD and replacing it with a locally resident community rooted public safety function.

          • Mitchell

            “If you were Dan White, you felt in danger of other people who were not like you living near you.” That’s a real problem, no matter whose ox is gored — and I’m gay, so you don’t have to convince me that White was “human excrement.”

            If someone feels that same hostility because I’m too white or somehow perceived as too bourgeois in my demeanor (and therefore don’t belong in their neighborhood) — especially if it’s because I don’t eat donuts [LOL!] — why should that be considered any different?

          • sffoghorn

            The white people moved out on their own volition when “their neighborhoods” began to change and they jumped to the suburbs.

            There is no comparison whatsoever to being forced out through eviction.

            People move for different reasons. The reasons are important more than the shared fact that they move.

          • Mitchell

            The relevant “shared fact” is not that they move, but that they think they’re entitled in perpetuity to consider a neighborhood their own turf, impervious and off-limits to people they consider unlike themselves.

          • sffoghorn

            Nothing you post is relevant.

          • Mitchell

            When you and your fellow (Wagnerian) foghorn can’t respond rationally to my comments, you resort to ad hominem grunts. Enough said!

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            Yr a fucking idiot.

          • Mitchell

            What an articulate response — typical of your overall reasoning.
            This is plainly about which people (or cultures) you like, and which you don’t. All the rest is mere window-dressing.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            It’s about being able to afford housing. which has nothing to do with which cultures anyone likes.

            Your commentary on Dan White is truly disgusting. I’m gonna guess you know better, but yr merely trolling.

          • Mitchell

            No, I’m not trolling.

            As I wrote above, the people in question can still afford housing — just not in a desirable neighborhood, even if that’s where they lived before.

            The other option is class mobility. There’s nothing desirable about being
            poor. To quote my father (who started out dirt-poor and sweated away a
            lifetime to live in modest comfort, whatever that took at the time): “Living well is the best revenge.”

            In other words, the solution may involve doing everything possible and necessary (within the realm of decency) NOT to remain mired in your beloved working class. The best interest of a poor person is to focus on no longer being poor. That’s not about trolling; it’s about values.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            Oh man. You are DEFINITELY trolling. I’m out.

          • Mitchell

            The feeling’s mutual.

        • westcoastcitizen

          There’s a lot of truth to your point, and I also came here for the culture – not to be a part of Silicon Valley.

          And yet, the people who came here for the culture unwittingly did contribute to gentrification. If you have/get more money than your average neighbor, you will almost unavoidably contribute to rent increases, changes in types of businesses, etc. And if you are moving because of “culture” the implication is that you have some choice on where to live.

          Also, the first few waves of people who came to this city in the 1800s were frankly the spiritual ancestors of today’s Gold Rush.

        • Mitchell

          In the Castro, it was the gays — and if you were Dan White, you felt in danger of “displacement.”

          • sffoghorn

            Dan White lived in Vis Valley, right? Hardly the Castro.

          • Mitchell

            True enough — but he (wrongly!) objected to changes in the character of the entire city, and resented the encroachment of a population he refused to accept or understand, perceiving them as “different.”

            “Get over it” means “Get over it!”

          • sffoghorn

            Did LGBT arrive and immediately rezone vast swaths of the City and displace existing residents ? Of course not.

            There are distinct differences between groups jumping out of their own volition and being pushed out through economic forces. Those idiots who sold made a very poor business decision, perhaps worse than not purchasing to begin with as many tenants have.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            That’s such a fucked revisioning of the Dan White story. Dan White was a feeble man. People who are making noise against the current gentrification of San Francisco. Bay Area are not anything like Dan White. There are no legitimate comparisons to be made.

          • Mitchell

            The difference is the color of those being displaced, along with the ideology they cite as their pretext for objecting to the displacement. In the end, it’s still about xenophobia.

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            No. No. No. That’s straight illogical. You know it is. The issue here is people without extravagant incomes not being able to afford housing, that has nothing to do with xenophobia.

          • Mitchell

            That’s the ideological pretext. They can still afford housing — just not in a desirable neighborhood, even if that’s where they lived before.

            The other option is class mobility. There’s nothing desirable about being poor. To quote my father (who started out dirt-poor and sweated away a lifetime to become middle class): “Living well is the best revenge.”

          • Wagnerian_thrice

            “They can still afford housing — just not in a desirable neighborhood” There isn’t a single neighborhood in San Francisco that working class people can afford.

            We can’t all be programmers, and programmer salaries are what one needs to afford this shit.

            There is not ideological pretext to housing being unaffordable. It’s just a fact.

          • Mitchell

            Those programmers are themselves workers — “labor aristocracy,” to use a term once reserved for union members. Please reserve your ire for the 1% (and maybe learn programming, if need be).

    • Latinos displaced the Italians in the day…always short memories in the Mission.

      • tiqui

        or the Italians made some money and moved to better places leaving space for undocumented and poor??? how did the latinos made the displacement?

      • sffoghorn

        Yeah, displacement means being pushed, the Irish and Italians jumped of their own accord.

        • Mitchell

          Ever heard of redlining. People fled when they feared their property values were plummeting. “There goes the neighborhood” and “We were here first” didn’t originate with the current oppressed du jour.

          • sffoghorn

            Oh, noes, poor poor scared white people feared that their property values were falling and sold too early. Clearly fear of “the other” diluting property values is the same thing as an eviction. Looks like in retrospect they sold too early and their judgement is therefore questionable.

            Jumping is not the same as being pushed.

          • I’ve heard of redlining. It bears no resemblance to the scenario you typed.

      • Ssstella

        And it was lesbians who first colonized Valencia Street. Memories really are short around here.

        • Wagnerian_thrice

          Didn’t force anyone out.

      • Wagnerian_thrice

        Racist Italians who move from a neighborhood because they are afraid of living around brown folks is not in any way shape or form ‘displacement’. That is utterly false.

      • Short memories indeed. Usually this irrelevant grampa story says “the Irish” rather than “the Italians.” As long as they’re not Hottentots, dadgummit.

    • Robotsrule

      And before the hipsters there were punks, queers, and artists. it’s always broke people willing to live in a “rough” area that start the cycle. It all ends with money and corporate interests sucking the soul out of something made by the hands of individuals.

  • Madhatters

    That was a remarkably “hip” critique of supposedly “hip” people. Are you sure you are not part of the very phenomenon that you feign to criticize? Protesting too much, perchance?

    That said, I hated Boogaloo’s 15 years ago and am not sorry to see it go. Brunch is for sissies.

    • Meat Bikini

      I have to say, I feel the same about boogaloos. Bullshit gravy and undercooked wet fucking potatoes as “home fries”.

      However, parody.. when well done is acceptable.

      Accusing Marke B of protesting too much? LOL – you may as well accuse Larry Harvey of being pretentious.

    • tiqui

      I never ate there, refuse to wait to eat eggs and potatoes… Brunch is for lazy white people, and white girls that did not learn to cook.

    • lasersmiles

      Feel free to hate a hipster, but I draw the line at Brunch. It’s been around longer than you… go to Mama’s in North Beach or Home Plate or any of a number of other places…I grew up with Brunch being Sunday’s awesome reward for getting your party on pretty wicked Sat Night.

  • Fishchum

    So he’s essentially saying the Marina has taken over the Mission?

    • Meat Bikini

      And to think… once Blondies was the only place Marina girls went for a “bit of rough”

      • Zentraedi

        I used to call Blondies the Marina Embassy. But now that’s all of Valencia, and half of Mission Street.

      • Brian Way

        LOL. That hit the nail on the head for me. Spot on observation! The part about "pleated chinos in Zeitgeist" made me want to vomit.

    • Reginald_Bigsby

      I remember growing up here this animosity did not exist, as the wealth stayed in its expected geographical sectors and bothered no one. Your prognosis is about right if only it were limited to the mission, my mom remarked with surprise a few months ago an artisanal brewery opened out near her on Noriega, the end of the middle class renter is upon us. It makes me very sad, they were my people, now scattered to the winds.

    • Brian Way

      Precisely.

  • Meat Bikini

    Very well observed and funny.

    I will add one minor observation.

    Having personally watched cadres of waspy east coast – “I would totally be in Wall St. were i not ‘radicalised’ by ‘occupy’ bro” – tech bros and broettes arrive and work at dozens of start-ups in co-working spaces.

    Dat dumb east coast “fashion”

    It usually takes about 3-4 weeks before they “acclimatize”.. buy a hoodie… ditch the sperrys… and lie about the family yacht.

  • HankEssay

    It’s Gavin Newsom’s fault…or Willie Brown….oh wait….

  • RevRoscoe Beauregard

    been out of the bay area since 2002, and aware of the ‘hipsters’ as they were the coolest that I seen before I departed, as I was still living in a one of a kind loft in Santa Rosa, Ca.. went mostly the later years to Haight to get cds. at the giant cd strore there, for I was moving back to Louisiana after my exodus.. Priced out, much of the same way I was priced out of the loft I created..

  • policywank

    I was a married, middle aged, lifetime weirdo when I moved to the area in the mid 2000s. If my (now ex) wife hadn’t grown up in the inner Richmond in the 80s, we probably wouldn’t have moved there at all. I was a divorced version of the same when the financial realities of the place drove me back east in the early 2010s. I get that, to a certain extent, the “heyday” of SF was always in some mythologized past that one either just missed out on seeing or caught the tail end of. I also fully understand that I was too old, even as a married old weirdo, to get what being there must be like for a young person moving from a much more conservative area. I’m still glad I got to see the place when it was what it was then rather than what it is now. Damn near every person I knew who had been there 20 years or more has either been forced out of the area entirely or far out into the east bay. That makes me sad.

  • rt94103

    Great piece.

  • Jonah Matranga

    Report: Nation’s Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization – http://www.theonion.com/article/report-nations-gentrified-neighborhoods-threatened-2419

  • Jonah Matranga

    Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Trying To Gentrify This Neighborhood – http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/sometimes-i-feel-like-im-the-only-one-trying-to-ge-11249

  • InfinityPlus1

    I still see plenty of dime-a-dozen tatted beardos, bad haircuts, stupid-looking mustaches and ubiquitous plaid shirts. Oh, and they hate being referred to as hipsters – they are unique, after all.

  • InfinityPlus1

    I still see plenty of dime-a-dozen tatted beardos, bad haircuts, stupid-looking mustaches and ubiquitous plaid shirts. Oh, and they hate being referred to as hipsters – they are unique, after all.

  • lasersmiles

    Fugazi is pre-hipster, back when being in a band nobody ever heard of meant something.

    • sffoghorn

      Fugazi was post-Minor Threat.

      • Mitchell

        Such things matter?

        • sffoghorn

          No, Fugazi and Minor Threat were both straight edge footnotes.

  • Frank Reynolds

    Wait. You are telling me that being a barista for 10 years and having no plan to move forward hasn’t afforded hipsters the necessary skills or finances to continue their lifestyles? I am SHOCKED!

  • sfcholita

    Fucking hilarious. I love it! (Now that I think of it, I guess you CAN jog violently. But I had to Google Ariel Pink, Keyboard Cat, Bonobos …) Bless the crazy drag queens. If THEY ever get eradicated, I’m returning from economic exile in East Oakland and burning my hometown SF to the ground. Salud!

  • Parker Day

    So good. Marke B. eternally gets two snaps up from me.

  • Mitchell

    Fischchum speculates on the point of Marke’s article: “So he’s essentially saying the Marina has taken over the Mission?”

    Not exactly; that much was obvious several years ago. What evidently makes it crucial now is that it’s a matter of Details (Do they still publish?) — i.e., a fashion statement.

    Thing is, he’s one step behind: after those preppie bros comes an assortment of gay dom tops (garbed in blue-collar finery, more nuanced this time than the Village People) who’ll ground them in dick-powered “reality” for $300/hr.

    And after that, we can exhume the twin ghosts of Philip Johnson and Colonel Röhm — and after the Long Knives, we all know where THAT leads. Interesting times, indeed!

    Go Bernie, perhaps our last hope (to save us from the fashion police)!

  • ≈ I don’t know who’s captioning those photos, but they seem to think “non-vegan” is some sort of contrast with “hipster.” The word “hipster” is ill-defined, sort of a Rorschach test for lazy writing, but I’m pretty sure that bacon-worship has been a hipster meta-trend for most of the century. Please make a note of it.

  • Kevin Smith

    Have been in the Mission since 1981. Last night I was walking around enjoying the great food and crowds of happy people and I could not help but feel sorry for the miserable creeps who think the Mission should regress to the old days of crack whores and druged out zombies. Such closeted self hatred and low expectations.

  • MB

    At least there are still plenty of urban street weirdos in Oakland.
    For now….

  • NickPV

    These waves seem to be very cyclical. This latest is a lot like the "yuppie" surge (and the subsequent "die, yuppie scum" purge) that happened in the 80s. This time, though, there seems to be that much more entitlement, elitism and hostility accompanying it. With this latest influx, so much creativity and quirkiness has been pushed out as a result and the flavor of San Francisco has been reduced to "Any Town USA". Not to mention, rent will likely never be affordable to non-corporates again…that is unless you've managed to hang onto your rent-controlled unit for years, or there's a bubble-burst of the tech industry akin to the dot com bust – which really doesn't look likely anytime soon.